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Okay, first rule of this carpool. No breaking wind in my car. The only gas that Bernie Mac want to be smelling is unleaded.

Bernie Mac

I don’t need to pat myself on the back until my arm breaks. I don’t need any of that.
BERNIE MAC

Arms Break Needs
I can’t build myself by beating somebody down.
BERNIE MAC

Build Myself Somebody
People like rumors. They’re going to say things like, ‘You was at the club with Lil’ Kim, and you and Kanye West got into a fist fight.’ You can’t get upset. You’ve got to keep hope alive.
BERNIE MAC

Alive Fighting People Upset
I want to do something that people can really say, ‘Hey, man, that was good, I’m proud of you, I’m proud of that.’ ‘Pride’ and ‘Transformers’ and things like that.
BERNIE MAC

Good Men People Pride Something
I’m not ashamed to tell the truth about what happened in my family. I think that’s what makes my comedy different.
BERNIE MAC

Comedy Different Happen Thinking
I have Glocks, .45s, Berettas, Remingtons. I like the marksmanship and the discipline that it takes to be a gun owner. I like the machinery. Being able to take it out and clean it is even more fascinating than having the gun.
BERNIE MAC

Able Discipline Gun Machine Onwer
When I go onstage, I want to relieve your mind, your pressures.
BERNIE MAC

Mind Onstage Pressure Want
I get facials. I get a manicure and pedicure every week. I get my hair cut, and I oil myself down from head to toe. I got that from my brother. I was so impressed with how high maintenance he was. When he left the room, you could still smell him for an hour.
BERNIE MAC

Brother Cutting Hair Head Maintenance Myself
I’m not a politician, I’m a comedian. I know my limitations.
BERNIE MAC

Comedian Knows Limitation Politician
The one thing about comedy, making it become a part of you, the audience loves it, because you become part of them.
BERNIE MAC

Audience Comedy Thing
You’re never going to see me playing a buffoon.
BERNIE MAC

Buffoons Going Playing
It’s a pleasure to work with someone who is just as strong as you are.
BERNIE MAC

Just Pleasure Someone Strong
Stand-up is what I am; stand-up is what made me.
BERNIE MAC

Made Stand
My family are police officers, detectives. My brother Mitch is FBI. Mitch is like that – a stern enforcer.
BERNIE MAC

Brother Detectives Police
Suffering is a good teacher. It keeps you in its grip until you’ve learned your lesson.
BERNIE MAC

Lesson Suffering Teacher
You know you poor when you eatin’ breakfast food late. You fryin’ toast? At nine o’clock at night? With bacon? You’re broke.
BERNIE MAC

Breakfast Food Night Nine

Okay, first rule of this carpool. No breaking wind in my car. The only gas that Bernie Mac want to be smelling is unleaded.

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Okay, first rule of this carpool. No breaking wind in my car. The only gas that Bernie Mac want to be smelling is unleaded.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bernie Mac Quotes