The worst thing about being a great power is when you’re not one any more. It takes centuries to get over it.
BEN ELTONYou’re mugging old ladies every bit as much if you pinch their pension fund
More Ben Elton Quotes
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If only the strength of the love that people feel when it is reciprocated could be as intense and obsessive as the love we feel when it is not; then marriages would be truly made in heaven.
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This calls for a very special blend of psychology and extreme violence.
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No collection of people who are all waiting for the same thing are capable of holding a natural conversation. Even if the thing they are waiting for is only a taxi.
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People who get through life dependent on other people’s possessions are always the first to lecture you on how little possessions count.
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Artists don’t create society, they reflect it
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The earth only has so much bounty to offer and inventing ever larger and more notional prices for that bounty does not change its real value.
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Sympathy for victims is always counter-balanced by an equal and opposite feeling of resentment towards them.
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If I did things for the money, I’d have done adverts in the 1980s, when I was hot enough to be offered them, and ‘Police Academy 6,’ which I was asked to write.
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Leaders should never, ever try to look cool – that’s for dictators
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Yes, OK, farty is a silly word. I wish I’d never used it. I’m 34. Perhaps it was a word for my 20s.
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I’m lucky because the strongest emotion I have ever felt is being in love, and that definitely informs my writing.
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I loved writing ‘Two Brothers’ more than anything else I have written. It’s the first book I’ve written that I’ve always known I wanted to write. Having said that, it also kept me awake at nights.
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I don’t know what people who I’ve never met think about me. Some have written horrible things, some have written nice things – but I’m proud of the fact I’ve remained close to everyone I’ve ever worked with.
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And roast beef and Yorkshire pudding is my personal signature dish.
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Books are the key. A book cannot be accessed from afar. You have to hold it, you have to read it.
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I’m easy to work with, not a pushover, but I respond to criticism and find it inspiring.
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I find the fact that billionaires are quoted as if the fact that they are billionaires gives them some kind of wisdom is outrageous.
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And of course to hunt down sedition. Only paper is safe. Books are the key. A book cannot be accessed from afar, you have to hold it, you have to read it.
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I think it is very difficult to legislate for morality.
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You think I look like a teletubby?
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I resent the creation of a world in which beauty is a reminder of what we’re losing rather than a celebration of what we have.
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I see dull people as projects … to be reformed
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I exercise hard and the reason I do is so that I can earn the things I like to consume.
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There are lots of things I could have done for the money, but I’ve made a great living doing the things I want to do.
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For the past seventeen years I have been experimenting with lager. I am a lager user and one drug leads to another. If you do lager, as night follows day, you’ll end up doing Kentucky Fried Chicken.
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You didn’t wake up, your dreams just changed gear.
BEN ELTON