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You’re mugging old ladies every bit as much if you pinch their pension fund

Ben Elton

Beyond love, beyond unrequited love, perhaps even beyond any other passion known to humanity, deep, deep in the depths of the turgid, clinging, swamplike pit of despair that lies dormant within every soul, lurks JEALOUSY.
BEN ELTON

Jealous Love Lying Unrequited
I find the fact that billionaires are quoted as if the fact that they are billionaires gives them some kind of wisdom is outrageous.
BEN ELTON

Facts Giving Kind
I resent the creation of a world in which beauty is a reminder of what we’re losing rather than a celebration of what we have.
BEN ELTON

Celebration Losing World
Artists don’t create society, they reflect it
BEN ELTON

Artist Crete Reflect Society
I think it is very difficult to legislate for morality.
BEN ELTON

Difficult Morality Thinking
You think I look like a teletubby?
BEN ELTON

Looks Thinking
You didn’t wake up, your dreams just changed gear.
BEN ELTON

Dream Gears Wake Up
The Germans are a cruel race. Their operas last for six hours and they have no word for fluffy.
BEN ELTON

Lasts Opera Race
If I did things for the money, I’d have done adverts in the 1980s, when I was hot enough to be offered them, and ‘Police Academy 6,’ which I was asked to write.
BEN ELTON

Hot Police Writing
For the past seventeen years I have been experimenting with lager. I am a lager user and one drug leads to another. If you do lager, as night follows day, you’ll end up doing Kentucky Fried Chicken.
BEN ELTON

Night Past
I don’t know what people who I’ve never met think about me. Some have written horrible things, some have written nice things – but I’m proud of the fact I’ve remained close to everyone I’ve ever worked with.
BEN ELTON

Nice People Thinking
There are lots of things I could have done for the money, but I’ve made a great living doing the things I want to do.
BEN ELTON

Done Made Want
You’re mugging old ladies every bit as much if you pinch their pension fund
BEN ELTON

Fund Lady Old Pension
Kingsley watched her disappear from the room, wondering if his heart would break. Logic informed him that of course it would not. The heart was no more than a muscle, a pump which distributed blood about the body.
BEN ELTON

Blood Heart Men
I see dull people as projects … to be reformed
BEN ELTON

Dull People Project
People who get through life dependent on other people’s possessions are always the first to lecture you on how little possessions count.
BEN ELTON

First Little People

You’re mugging old ladies every bit as much if you pinch their pension fund

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You’re mugging old ladies every bit as much if you pinch their pension fund

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