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I did not vote Labour because they’ve heard of Oasis and nobody is going to vote Tory because William Hague has got a baseball cap.

Ben Elton

I think trying to be cool is the worst possible ambition – and I have never suffered from it.
BEN ELTON

Ambition Thinking Trying
I don’t know what people who I’ve never met think about me. Some have written horrible things, some have written nice things – but I’m proud of the fact I’ve remained close to everyone I’ve ever worked with.
BEN ELTON

Nice People Thinking
And roast beef and Yorkshire pudding is my personal signature dish.
BEN ELTON

Beef Pudding Signature
You didn’t wake up, your dreams just changed gear.
BEN ELTON

Dream Gears Wake Up
I’m lucky because the strongest emotion I have ever felt is being in love, and that definitely informs my writing.
BEN ELTON

Being Love Lucky Writing
There are lots of things I could have done for the money, but I’ve made a great living doing the things I want to do.
BEN ELTON

Done Made Want
Sympathy for victims is always counter-balanced by an equal and opposite feeling of resentment towards them.
BEN ELTON

Feelings Opposite Sympathy
If I did things for the money, I’d have done adverts in the 1980s, when I was hot enough to be offered them, and ‘Police Academy 6,’ which I was asked to write.
BEN ELTON

Hot Police Writing
I exercise hard and the reason I do is so that I can earn the things I like to consume.
BEN ELTON

Exercise Hard Reason
Yes, OK, farty is a silly word. I wish I’d never used it. I’m 34. Perhaps it was a word for my 20s.
BEN ELTON

Silly Stupid Wish
My parents were secular. I am an atheist.
BEN ELTON

Atheist Parent Secular
My advice to anyone adapting a novel is that once they’ve read it and learnt to understand it, then they must throw it away and never look at it again!
BEN ELTON

Advice Looks Novel
The earth only has so much bounty to offer and inventing ever larger and more notional prices for that bounty does not change its real value.
BEN ELTON

Doe Real World
Beyond love, beyond unrequited love, perhaps even beyond any other passion known to humanity, deep, deep in the depths of the turgid, clinging, swamplike pit of despair that lies dormant within every soul, lurks JEALOUSY.
BEN ELTON

Jealous Love Lying Unrequited
The appropriation of radical thinking by lazy, self-obsessed hippies is a public relations disaster that could cost the earth.
BEN ELTON

Hippie Self Thinking
I see dull people as projects … to be reformed
BEN ELTON

Dull People Project

I did not vote Labour because they’ve heard of Oasis and nobody is going to vote Tory because William Hague has got a baseball cap.

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I did not vote Labour because they’ve heard of Oasis and nobody is going to vote Tory because William Hague has got a baseball cap.

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Popular Authors

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