“The dog has an enviable mind; it remembers the nice things in life and quickly blots out the nasty.”

I do not believe that a dog can be cured by a psychiatrist, but I think some owners could be helped by one.

I believe that animals have been talking to human beings ever since we were all made and put into this world.

When I breathe down my nose to say how do you do to a horse, it can hear that breath at anything up to twenty yards, for horses have the most acute sense of hearing.

There is nothing a pig loves more than a good bath, with a loofah and plenty of soap flakes … There is something delightfully lovable about a really clean pig, in clean yellow straw.

I have caught more ills from people sneezing over me and giving me virus infections than from kissing dogs.

Dogs aren’t born knowing what or what not to do; they only learn like children.

Dogs understand your moods and your thoughts, and if you are thinking unpleasant things about your dog, he will pick it up and be downhearted.

Animals are so much quicker in picking up our thoughts than we are in picking up theirs. I believe they must have a very poor opinion of the human race.

I can train any dog in 5 minutes. It’s training the owner that takes longer.

There is no such thing as a difficult dog, only an inexperienced owner.

one has to give a great deal of oneself to animals if one is to get the best out of them.

I can not impress on my readers too strongly the necessity to be firm but kind to a puppy. His idea of your authority is forming, and if he knows you give in on the slightest whimper, you are wacked for life.

The eyes of a dog, the expression of a dog, the warmly wagging tail of a dog and the gloriously cold damp nose of a dog were in my opinion all God-given for one purpose only-to make complete fools of us human beings.

I like talking to a person who is crazy in a fun, eccentric way. I don’t want to talk to a legitimate crazy person, because that’s not nice.

Calvin: ME TARZAN! KING OF JUNGLE! Suzy: Nice underpants. Does your mom know you’re over here like this? Calvin:…I don’t think Jane EVER said that to Tarzan.

Don’t feel guilty about driving somewhere nice to run. If people can drive to a park to eat hot dogs, you can drive there to run.

Killing a guy and stealing his wife and child isn’t too nice a thing to do.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we lived in a world where no one thought being gay was even something to ride someone about?

There’s only, I think, in life, three things that I do pretty well: Performing, I still can field ground balls, and I make nice kids.

It would be nice if the poor were to get even half of the money that is spent in studying them.

I move out here, and next thing I know I’m 25, and the only thing I’ve heard is, ‘Can you get a coffee, can you hurry up with the thing, blah blah blah.’