I try hard not to preach, but I get carried away, which is a mistake, but it’s a risk worth running.
BEN ELTONThe appropriation of radical thinking by lazy, self-obsessed hippies is a public relations disaster that could cost the earth.
More Ben Elton Quotes
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I think it is very difficult to legislate for morality.
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The earth only has so much bounty to offer and inventing ever larger and more notional prices for that bounty does not change its real value.
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Leaders should never, ever try to look cool – that’s for dictators
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I loved writing ‘Two Brothers’ more than anything else I have written. It’s the first book I’ve written that I’ve always known I wanted to write. Having said that, it also kept me awake at nights.
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I don’t consider myself Jewish. I am half-Jewish by race but not through my mother.
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The appropriation of radical thinking by lazy, self-obsessed hippies is a public relations disaster that could cost the earth.
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You didn’t wake up, your dreams just changed gear.
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If I did things for the money, I’d have done adverts in the 1980s, when I was hot enough to be offered them, and ‘Police Academy 6,’ which I was asked to write.
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This calls for a very special blend of psychology and extreme violence.
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The Germans are a cruel race. Their operas last for six hours and they have no word for fluffy.
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Kingsley watched her disappear from the room, wondering if his heart would break. Logic informed him that of course it would not. The heart was no more than a muscle, a pump which distributed blood about the body.
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And roast beef and Yorkshire pudding is my personal signature dish.
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I’m easy to work with, not a pushover, but I respond to criticism and find it inspiring.
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And of course to hunt down sedition. Only paper is safe. Books are the key. A book cannot be accessed from afar, you have to hold it, you have to read it.
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There are lots of things I could have done for the money, but I’ve made a great living doing the things I want to do.
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Comedy will always be central to what I do, it’s just an instinct for me, but I am a writer and always have been.
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I resent the creation of a world in which beauty is a reminder of what we’re losing rather than a celebration of what we have.
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You think I look like a teletubby?
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My advice to anyone adapting a novel is that once they’ve read it and learnt to understand it, then they must throw it away and never look at it again!
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Artists don’t create society, they reflect it
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I did not vote Labour because they’ve heard of Oasis and nobody is going to vote Tory because William Hague has got a baseball cap.
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For the past seventeen years I have been experimenting with lager. I am a lager user and one drug leads to another. If you do lager, as night follows day, you’ll end up doing Kentucky Fried Chicken.
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I exercise hard and the reason I do is so that I can earn the things I like to consume.
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People who get through life dependent on other people’s possessions are always the first to lecture you on how little possessions count.
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If only the strength of the love that people feel when it is reciprocated could be as intense and obsessive as the love we feel when it is not; then marriages would be truly made in heaven.
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You’re mugging old ladies every bit as much if you pinch their pension fund
BEN ELTON