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When audiences come to see us authors lecture, it is largely in the hope that we’ll be funnier to look at than to read.

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

We’re tired of hearing politicians and priests and cautious reformers… coax us, ‘Be calm! Be patient! Wait!
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Calm Caution Coax Hear Heard Patient Politicians Priest Reformer Wait
The Maker of the universe with stars a hundred thousand light-years apart was interested, furious, and very personal about it if a small boy played baseball on Sunday afternoon.
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Apart Furious Hundred Interest Light Maker Personal Star Thousand Universe Year
We’re tired of seeing just a few people able to be individualists. We’re tired of always deferring hope till the next generation.
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Always Conscious Deferring Generation Hope Life More Next Perhaps Think Tired Want
There are so many people in the world who are eager to do for you things that you do not wish done, provided only that you will do for them things that you don’t wish to do.
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Do Done Eager Many People Provide So Them Thing Will World
I was brought up to believe that the Christian God wasn’t a scared and compromising public servant, but the creator of the whole merciless truth, and I reckon that training spoiled me – I actually took my teachers seriously!
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Believe Brought Christianity Compromise Creator God Merciless Public Scare Servant Truth Whole
Writers kid themselves-about themselves and other people. Take the talk about writing methods.
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Method Other People Take Talk Themselves Write Writer
She did her work with the thoroughness of a mind which reveres details and never quite understands them.
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Detail Dis Mind never Quit Reves She Throughness Understand Work
The greatest mystery about a human being is not his reaction to sex or praise, but the manner in which he contrives to put in twenty-four hours a day. It is this which puzzles the longshoreman about the clerk, the Londoner about the bushman.
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Being Contrive Four Greatest Hour Human Manner Mystery Praise Put Reaction Sex Twenty
I’ve heard of their curing syphilis by giving the patient malaria, but I’ve never heard of their curing malaria by giving the patient syphilis.
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Curing Give Heard Malaria Patient Syphill
And that the pastor’s sermons, however dull they might seem at the time of taking, yet had a voodooistic power which ‘did a fellow good– kept him in touch with Higher Things.
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Fellow Good Higher might Power Seem Semon Thing Time Touch
Our American professors like their literature clear and cold and pure and very dead.
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Clear Cold Country Dead Literature Professor Pure Very
You’re so earnest about morality that I hate to think how essentially immoral you must be underneath.
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Earn Essential Immortal Morality Must Think Underneath
But the men of ritual and the men of barbarism are capable of shutting up the men of science and silencing them forever.
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Barbarism Capable Forever Men Ritual Science Shut Silence
Why is it that traveling Americans are always so dreadful?
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Always Country Dreadful So Travel Why
When fascism comes to the United States it will be wrapped in the American flag and will claim the name of 100-percent Americanism
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Come Country Fascism Flag Hundred Name Percent Wrap
Since dictating the Bible, and hiring a perfect race of ministers to explain it,
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Bible Dicate Explain Hire Minister Perfect Race Since

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