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When audiences come to see us authors lecture, it is largely in the hope that we’ll be funnier to look at than to read.

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Audience Author Come Funnier Hope Largely Lecture Raed See

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I’ve heard of their curing syphilis by giving the patient malaria, but I’ve never heard of their curing malaria by giving the patient syphilis.
SINCLAIR LEWIS

Curing Give Heard Malaria Patient Syphill
You’re so earnest about morality that I hate to think how essentially immoral you must be underneath.
SINCLAIR LEWIS

Earn Essential Immortal Morality Must Think Underneath
Our American professors like their literature clear and cold and pure and very dead.
SINCLAIR LEWIS

Clear Cold Country Dead Literature Professor Pure Very
My chief objection is that 99% of sermons and Sunday School teachings are so agonizingly dull.
SINCLAIR LEWIS

Agonizingly Chie Dull Nine Ninty Objection Percent School Sermon Sunday
We have the plans for a Utopia already made; just wiser than you.’ For ten thousand years they’ve said that. We want our Utopia now — and we’re going to try our hands at it.
SINCLAIR LEWIS

Already Go Hand Made Plan Thousand Utpoi Want Wiser Year
It is one of the major tragedies that nothing is more discomforting than the hearty affection of the Old Friends who never were friends.
SINCLAIR LEWIS

Affection Discomfort Friend Greta Hearty More Nothing Old One Tendency
Curiously, neither God nor the devil may wear modern dress, but must retain Grecian vestments.
SINCLAIR LEWIS

Curiosity Devil Dress God Grecian Modern Neither Retain Vestment Wear
I, being a revolutionist, know exactly what I want — and what I want now is a drink.
SINCLAIR LEWIS

Drink Exactly Now Revolution Want
But the men of ritual and the men of barbarism are capable of shutting up the men of science and silencing them forever.
SINCLAIR LEWIS

Barbarism Capable Forever Men Ritual Science Shut Silence
Fine, large, meaningless, general terms like romance and business can always be related. They take the place of thinking, and are highly useful to optimists and lecturers.
SINCLAIR LEWIS

Always Business Fine General Large Meaningless Relate Romance Term
There is no greater compliment to the Jews than the fact that the degree of their unpopularity is always the scientific measure of the cruelty and silliness of the regime under which they live.
SINCLAIR LEWIS

Always Compliment Cruel Degree Fact Greater Jew Measure Regime Scientific Sillness Unpouplarity
Life is hard and astonishingly complicated…. No one great reform will make it easy.
SINCLAIR LEWIS

Astonishingly Complicated Easy Great Hard Life Make No One Reform
I must say I’m not very fond of oratory that’s so full of energy it hasn’t any room for facts.
SINCLAIR LEWIS

Energy Fact Fond Full Must Oratory Room Very
Except for half a dozen in each town the citizens are proud of that achievement of ignorance which is so easy to come by.
SINCLAIR LEWIS

Achievement Citizen Come Dozen Each Easy Except Half Ignorance Proud Town
Being a man given to oratory and high principles, he enjoyed the sound of his own vocabulary and the warmth of his own virtue.
SINCLAIR LEWIS

Being Give High Man Oratory Principle
Writers kid themselves-about themselves and other people. Take the talk about writing methods.
SINCLAIR LEWIS

Method Other People Take Talk Themselves Write Writer

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