“It’s a fact that it is much more comfortable to be in the position of the person who has been offended than to be the unfortunate cause of it.”

Don’t confuse being stimulating with being blunt.

Success can make you go one of two ways. It can make you a prima donna – or it can smooth the edges, take away the insecurities, let the nice things come out.

If you were a tree, what kind would you be?

Life sometimes brings enormous difficulties and challenges that seem just too hard to bear. But bear them you can, and bear them you will, and your life can have a purpose.

Small children do not belong at an adult party, and especially should not be used like trained midgets to help serve martinis.

Show me someone who never gossips, and I’ll show you someone who isn’t interested in people.

[On being indecisive and changeable:] On my gravestone I want inscribed: ‘On the other hand, maybe I should have lived.

Homogeneity is much to be admired – in milk, for instance – but not for parties.

A good laugh makes any interview, or any conversation, so much better.

If it’s a woman it’s caustic, if it’s a man it’s authority, If it’s a woman it’s too pushy, if it’s a man it’s aggressive in the best sense of the word.

A conversation isn’t a competition.

This is what I tell, especially young women, fight the big fights. Don’t fight the little fight… Be the first one in, be the last one out. Do your homework, choose your battles. Don’t whine, and don’t be the one who complains about everything. Fight the big fight.

Most old people … are disheartened to be living in the ailing house of their bodies, to be limited physically and economically, to feel an encumbrance to others – guests who didn’t have the good manners to leave when the party was over.

The news media in general are liberals.

To not sing with an orchestra, to not be able to communicate through my voice, which I’ve done all my life, and not to be able to phrase lyrics and give people that kind of joy, I think I would be totally devastated.

I don’t know about you, but I can never get enough David Letterman.

The distinction between investment and speculation in common stocks has always been a useful one and its disappearance is cause for concern.

The scientific community says that if you even mention God as causes of anything scientific, you’re gone.

There’s no such thing as a lost cause.

Beware of the beginnings of vice. Do not delude yourself with the belief that it can be argued against in the presence of the exciting cause. Nothing but actual flight can save you.

There’s no reward in life without risk.

If you don’t like my fire, then don’t come around. Cause I’m gonna burn one down.

Still to be neat, still to be drest, As you were going to a feast, Still to be powder’d, all perfum’d. Lady, it is to be presumed, Though art’s hid causes are not found, All is not sweet, all is not sound.

Slowness is frequently the cause of much greater slowness.