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Hubert Humphrey talks so fast that listening to him is like trying to read Playboy magazine with your wife turning the pages.

Barry Goldwater

I fear Washington and centralized government more than I do Moscow.
BARRY GOLDWATER

Centralized Government Country Government
A woman has a right to an abortion. That’s a decision that’s up to the pregnant woman, not up to the pope or some do-gooders or the Religious Right.
BARRY GOLDWATER

Abortion Decision Religious
Small men, seeking great wealth or power, have too often and too long turned even the highest levels of public service into mere personal opportunity.
BARRY GOLDWATER

Long Men Opportunity
I thought of something my old coach at Staunton had often said: ‘We win some, we lose some, and some get rained out; but we always suit up.’
BARRY GOLDWATER

Said Suits Winning
Government should stay the hell out of people’s business.
BARRY GOLDWATER

Government Liberty People
We have enough trouble with women without giving them M16 rifles.
BARRY GOLDWATER

Giving Rifles Sex
After one of his [Hubert Humphrey] long-winded harangues I suggested he had probably been vaccinated with a phonograph needle. He responded by saying that I would have been a great success in the movies working for Eighteenth Century-Fox.
BARRY GOLDWATER

Foxes Great Long Success
Without the National Federation of Republican Women, there would be no Republican Party.
BARRY GOLDWATER

Federation Nation Party Republican
The Conservative knows that to regard man as part of an undifferentiated mass is to consign him to ultimate slavery.
BARRY GOLDWATER

Conservative Man Slavery
Today neither of our two parties maintains a meaningful commitment to the principle of States’ Rights. The 10th Amendment is not a ‘general assumption’ but a rule of law. States rights mean that states have a right to act or not to act, as they see fit, in areas reserved to them.
BARRY GOLDWATER

Commitment Meaningful Party
You don’t need to be straight to fight and die for your country. You just need to shoot straight.
BARRY GOLDWATER

Country Fighting Needs
I say that when you elect a president you want a man to manage the legitimate business of your government. The government that is big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take it away.
BARRY GOLDWATER

Giving Men President
And here we encounter the seeds of government disaster and collapse – the kind that wrecked ancient Rome and every other civilization that allowed a sociopolitical monster called the welfare state to exist.
BARRY GOLDWATER

Civilization Country Government
History has to judge every man who served. I don’t know how they’re going to treat me. I may be the worst S.O.B. that ever came down the pike. But I won’t lose any sleep over it. I just like to be remembered as an honest person who tried.
BARRY GOLDWATER

Judging Men Sleep
I made an effort to find out what was in the building at Wright Patterson Air Force Base where the information is stored that has been collected by the Air Force, and I was understandably denied this request. It is still classified above Top Secret.
BARRY GOLDWATER

Air Effort Secret
When fraternities are not allowed, Communism flourishes. Young men who are inexperienced but have faith are more useful than older, experienced men without faith. The fraternity system is a bastion of American strength.
BARRY GOLDWATER

Men Unexperience Useful War

Hubert Humphrey talks so fast that listening to him is like trying to read Playboy magazine with your wife turning the pages.

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Hubert Humphrey talks so fast that listening to him is like trying to read Playboy magazine with your wife turning the pages.

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