“Wit is the fetching of congruity out of incongruity.”

I am wonderfully pleased when I meet with any passage in an old Greek or Latin author, that is not blown upon, and which I have never met with in any quotation.

A contented mind is the greatest blessing a man can enjoy in this world; and if in the present life his happiness arises from the subduing of his desires, it will arise in the next from the gratification of them.

Nature is full of wonders; every atom is a standing miracle, and endowed with such qualities, as could not be impressed on it by a power and wisdom less than infinite.

Our real blessings often appear to us in the shape of pains, losses and disappointments; but let us have patience and we soon shall see them in their proper figures.

If we hope for what we are not likely to possess, we act and think in vain, and make life a greater dream and shadow than it really is.

Nothing is more gratifying to the mind of man than power or dominion.

I consider the vanity of grieving for those whom we must quickly follow: when I see kings lying by those who deposed them, when I consider rival wits placed side by side, or the holy men that divided the world with their contests and disputes.

On you, my lord, with anxious fear I wait, and from your judgment must expect my fate.

Health and cheerfulness naturally beget each other.

Men may change their climate, but they cannot change their nature. A man that goes out a fool cannot ride or sail himself into common sense.

I value my garden more for being full of blackbirds than of cherries, and very frankly give them fruit for their songs.

When a woman comes to her class, she does not employ her time in making herself look more advantageously what she really is, but endeavours to be as much another creature as she possibly can.

He who would pass his declining years with honor and comfort, should, when young, consider that he may one day become old, and remember when he is old, that he has once been young.

Reading is to the mind, what exercise is to the body. As by the one, health is preserved, strengthened, and invigorated: by the other, virtue (which is the health of the mind) is kept alive, cherished, and confirmed.

Mankind are more indebted to industry than ingenuity; the gods set up their favors at a price, and industry is the purchaser.

There is not a more unhappy being than a superannuated idol.

This is our island. It’s a good island. Until the grownups come to fetch us we’ll have fun.

We’ve got rid of subeditors because we don’t need them. Because they were never necessary. They were just fetchers and gophers. They had a job, which has been superannuated by technology.

We have fish and chips, which W. and I fetch from the shop in Settle market-place.

A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.