“Christmas in the Underworld was NOT my idea. If I’d known what was coming, I would’ve called in sick. I could’ve avoided an army of demons, a fight with a Titan, and a trick that almost got my friends and me cast into eternal darkness. But no, I had to take my stupid English exam.”

Remake the world, a little at a time, each in your own corner of the world.

It isn’t easy being a brilliant inventor, always alone. Always misunderstood. Easy to turn bitter, make horrible mistakes. People are more difficult to work with than machines. And when you break a person, he can’t be fixed. -Hephaestus

I have more ideas than I’ll ever be able to write in five lifetimes.

Always, Always have a plan

You have to rise above the squabbling and chaos, and keep believing. You have to always keep your goals in mind.” -Hera, goddess of marriage

I’m a teacher still, but with a much larger classroom.

Just because you don’t see me doesn’t mean I wasn’t there

Everybody loves to show up at the party once all the hard work is done.

Knowledge isn’t always good for you.

Desjardins was literally fuming. His tattered robes still smoked from battle. (Carter says I shouldn’t mention that his pink boxer shorts were showing, but they were!)

You have to be compelled to write. If you’re not, nothing else that you do matters.

Our baboon was going completely sky goddess – which is to say, nuts.

If I’m going to burn, it might as well be bright.

Most of Set’s forces were running towards our boat, screaming and throwing rocks (which tended to fall down and hit them, but no one says demons are bright).

Set screamed something in Ancient Egyptian. I was fairly sure it wasn’t a compliment. “I will rend your limbs from their sockets!” he shouted. “I will—” “Die?” Carter suggested.

Nice creepy reptile,” Frank said, very aware of the driftwood in his coat pocket. “Nice poisonous, fire-breathing reptile.

You can’t allow the forces of political correction to shut you up. I mean, why are people afraid to say, ‘Merry Christmas?’ Give me a break. If people don’t like it, yeah, they can go do something else.

Criticism can never instruct or benefit you. Its chief effect is that of a telegram with dubious news. Praise leaves no glow behind, for it is a writer’s habit to remember nothing good of himself.

And whether these poor people would not fare far better if they were entrusted to the devils in Hell than they do at the hands of the devils of the New World who masquerade as Christians.

For a Jewish guy, I’ve recorded a lot of Christmas albums.

Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.

At this time of year it’s easy to forget the true meaning of Christianity – the lies, the corruption, the abuse.

Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

Everybody loves a good Christmas song if you do it right.