If at first you don’t succeed, failure may be your style.
QUENTIN CRISPThe worst part of being gay in the twentieth century is all that damn disco music to which one has to listen.
More Quentin Crisp Quotes
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People are not heterosexual or homosexual, just sexual.
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I recommend limiting one’s involvement in other people’s lives to a pleasantly scant minimum. This may seem too stoical a position in these madly passionate times, but madly passionate people rarely make good on their madly passionate promises.
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Health consists of having the same diseases as one’s neighbors.
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The trouble with European cities is that they are drenched in their history, almost all of which is terrible.
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Politics are not an instrument for effecting social change; they are the art of making the inevitable appear to be a matter of wise human choice.
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The happiest moments in any affair take place after the loved one has learned to accommodate the lover and before the maddening personality of either party has emerged like a jagged rock from the receding tides of lust and curiosity.
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If you don’t stay in some days, you can’t recharge your batteries.
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There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn’t get any worse.
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The search for a life-style involves a journey to the interior. This is not altogether a pleasant experience, because you not only have to take stock of what you consider your assets but you also have to take a long look at what your friends call “the trouble with you.” Nevertheless, the journey is worth making.
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I never say ‘No’ to anything.
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If you describe things as better than they are, you are considered to be a romantic; if you describe things as worse than they are, you will be called a realist; and if you describe things exactly as they are, you will be thought of as a satirist.
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Though intelligence is powerless to modify character, it is a dab hand at finding euphemisms for its weaknesses.
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Why get married? For human beings, marriage is such an unnatural state. If you want monogamy, it has been said, you should marry a swan.
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He knew them only ‘in Braille’ – the curtains were never drawn back in the rooms in Oxford where he met those boys. It was the most sordid life you can imagine. And he was bleating about love and dragging the fair name of Mr. Plato into the trial – after a life like that?
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Never get involved with someone who wants to change you
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And were then to lay his own garden path diagonally from one corner to the other, that man’s soul would be lost. Originality is only to be praised when not prefaced by the look to right and left.
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You can’t be a person and a lady. If you’re a person, you can open the damned door yourself.
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The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us.
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Happiness is the only thing I understand.
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The measure of woman’s distaste for any part of her life lies not in the loudness of her lamentations (these are only an attempt to buy a martyr’s crown at a reduced price) but in her persistent pursuit of that occupation of which she never ceases to complain.
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Assoon as I stepped out of my mother’s womb on to dry land, I realized that I had made a mistake?but the trouble with children is that they are not returnable.
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The key is never, never work. Nothing is more aging than work. It’s not only the strain of getting up in the morning for work, but it’s the resentment that settles on your face
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You must stop this interview now as I have come to end of my personality.
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Vice is its own reward.
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For flavor, instant sex will never supersede the stuff you have to peel and cook.
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Sex is the last refuge of the miserable.
QUENTIN CRISP