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If I were God – and I never understand why I’m not – I should say, “Shop around, I don’t think you’ll find a better bargain than here.”

Quentin Crisp

I have to realise that as I am only English and am allowed to live in America, I have to give something in return. And since I cannot build a hospital, or endow a university, I can only give my infinite availability.
QUENTIN CRISP

Allow Availability Build Country English Hospital Only Realize Return Since Something University
While I have very little to say in favor of sex (it’s vastly overrated, it’s frequently unnecessary, and it’s messy), it is greatly to be preferred to the interminable torments of romantic agony through which two people tear one another limb from limb while professing altruistic devotion.
QUENTIN CRISP

Favour Frequently Little Messy Overrated Say Unnecessary Vastly
A fair share of anything is starvation diet to an egomaniac.
QUENTIN CRISP

Anything Egomaniac Fair Share Starvation
Look inward and ask not if there is anything outside you want, but whether there is anything inside that you have not yet unpacked.
QUENTIN CRISP

Anything Ask Inside Look Outside Unpack
There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the money; the second that you have something to say that you think the world should know; the third is that you can’t think what to do with the long winter evenings.
QUENTIN CRISP

Become Evening First Long Money Need Reason Say Second Something Third Write Writer
Nothing in our culture, not even home computers, is more overrated than the epidermal felicity of two featherless bipeds in desperate congress.
QUENTIN CRISP

Computer Congress Culture Epidermal Even Facility Featherless Home Nothing Our Overrarte
To my disappointment I now realized that to know all is not to forgive all. It is to despise everybody.
QUENTIN CRISP

All Despise Disappoint Everybody Forgive Know Realize
It’s no good running a pig farm badly for 30 years while saying, ‘Really, I was meant to be a ballet dancer.’ By then, pigs will be your style.
QUENTIN CRISP

Ballet Big Dancer Farm Go Meant Pig Really Run Say Style Thirty Year
I don’t think you can really be proud of being gay because it isn’t something you’ve done. You can only be proud of not being ashamed.
QUENTIN CRISP

Ashamed Being Gay Proud Really Something Sone Think
Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.
QUENTIN CRISP

Country Down Gdrag Keep Level never People Person
The British do not expect happiness. I had the impression, all the time that I lived there, that they do not want to be happy; they want to be right.
QUENTIN CRISP

Country Do Expect Happiness Impression Live Not Time
What my parents thought of this, I don’t know. But they bore it. And the real problem was not my sin, but my unemployability.
QUENTIN CRISP

Bore Know Parent Problem Real Sin Thought Unemployability
The trouble with European cities is that they are drenched in their history, almost all of which is terrible.
QUENTIN CRISP

Almost City Country Drench History Terrible Trouble
The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
QUENTIN CRISP

Achieve Disaster Formula never Relationship Simple Successful Treat Trivialities
Vice is its own reward.
QUENTIN CRISP

Own Reward Vice
You fall out of your mother’s womb, you crawl across open country under fire, and drop into your grave.
QUENTIN CRISP

Life Love Relationship

If I were God – and I never understand why I’m not – I should say, “Shop around, I don’t think you’ll find a better bargain than here.”

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If I were God – and I never understand why I’m not – I should say, “Shop around, I don’t think you’ll find a better bargain than here.”

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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