“People who eat with their mouth open should be punched in the face.”

Everybody that’s successful lays a blueprint out.

I’ve done a great job at being universal in my stand-up, which is why, for ‘Let Me Explain,’ I toured all over the world. These movies I have coming out – ‘Ride Along,’ ‘Grudge Match,’ ‘About Last Night,’ ‘Think Like a Man Too’ – are putting me in a position to become universal on an even bigger scale.

I’m a whopping 5 foot 4 inches tall. I’m not going to get any taller.

Before I look stupid and not know what a word means or how to pronounce it, I’ll stop the whole production: ‘Hey, real quick, guys. Define this word for me. Somebody.’

It’s a well-known fact that tall people are evil.

However, I don’t think I’m as well versed in shoes as I am in comedy. Being a salesman was all about being a people person, and I enjoy being around people. I also love talking to people – which is why I think I did so well.

So many doors can be opened up from stand-up comedy, and the first one that was opened up for me was acting. But you can go from acting to being a TV personality to being a radio personality to being a writer to being a producer, to just being a visionary, to voiceover work.

I didn’t work hard to sit down and not work.

The one thing about the business of entertainment is that you have to learn patience.

Men are like lions. We hunt.

Laughter heals all wounds, and that’s one thing that everybody shares.

Take me seriously. Take me and my role seriously. Take my talent seriously.

I don’t know about other people, but I love to work.

My drive is other people’s success.

I’m not the most attractive fella. I’m not a Billy Dee Williams. Personality is everything.

I feel like I have a job to do, like I constantly have to reinvent myself.

Why don’t you bring your face up here and let me punch it? Then you can tell me (if I’m stronger).

I watch action movies, and you don’t remember when Jason Statham does a kick or punch. It’s character trait stuff you remember.

It’s not beneficial when you have a presidential candidate like Donald Trump, telling his supporters “punch that guy in the face.” I think everyone candidate ought to aspire toward civility, towards decency, towards bringing us together. I don’t think we should be using angry and hateful rhetoric.

I know I only need one punch to knock any guy out.

I really don’t punch with my left hand anyways.

Even if it’s a long ways down the track, it punches a hole in the air that has to help. When you’re running alone, you can feel the difference, and it shows on the clock, too.

I wanted to start in boxing, but you have to train a little harder to be a boxer. A lot of those guys can take punches. MMA, you only have to hit someone so hard to knock them out.

There’s no idea or concept in comedy you could do that hasn’t been attacked from some angle. But if you start leaving punchlines out so you’ll look cool, I don’t get that. But I don’t watch standup anyway, so I don’t know what they’re doing.