“I’ve done auditions where the casting director is taking the paper out of my hand in the middle of reading.”

The two things in the world we all share in this world are laughter and pain. We’ve all got problems. The levels of those problems vary, but we’ve all got problems.

I don’t take pictures when I’m with my kids, for the sake of my kids. It’s important when you’re as busy as I am that you give your kids your time when you’re with them, and nothing compromises that. I’ve been lucky enough to have fans that understand that.

I don’t care how busy I am – I will always make time for what’s most important to me.

People like to hear the word ‘love.’

I am an angel. I was sent here from God to heal.

When you can take things that are painful and make them funny, that’s a gift – to you and your audience.

The only way to learn is for it not to get a laugh, so you can adjust it and come back the next day to see if it’s working right. Next time, you might get a different laugh. You’re constantly rebuilding.

When you’re coming up with new material, it’s not always gonna be good.

People who win go outside of that box. It’s very simple when you look at it.

Success isn’t supposed to happen, no matter how hard you work. There’s no guarantee you’re going to succeed. There’s nothing set in stone.

I love to pop up at the movie theaters. I love to treat the people who are there.

You get one life. I’m going to embrace mine.

I don’t think comedy will ever die.

I understand that being able to appeal to the public and having an amazing sense of humour is not something that comes easy. It’s definitely a gift and for which I’m thankful.

A lot of blood, sweat, and tears have gone into this career of mine.

Stand-up can take you in so many different places, man.

You’ve got to think of things as an opportunity. An audition’s an opportunity to have an audience.

I was in fifth grade and my teacher saw an ad in the paper and took me to the audition after school and I got the part.

My first audition was an open call and I had no picture and no resume

I just try to get through my to-do list, with my kids’ homework being at the top of it, and then try to prepare for the next audition or whatever scene I’m shooting next. Balance.

Anytime I audition for something, it’s always a question of whether or not the people I’m auditioning for understand I’m an improviser and I like to do that, and if they like that or if they just want someone who’s going to do what’s written.

My wife asks me, when I get home from auditions, if they asked how tall I am. And if I say “Yes,” then she says, “Okay, you didn’t get that job.”

He sent me on an audition for a TV pilot, and I happened to book it. It was like complete luck that it happened.

For me, acting is becoming naked in front of people, you know? And when you know in the back of your mind somebody is testing you, you cannot really bare yourself. That’s a feeling I always have when I’m auditioning.