“I chose my wife, as she did her wedding gown, for qualities that would wear well.”

Friendship is a disinterested commerce between equals; love, an abject intercourse between tyrants and slaves.

The jests of the rich are ever successful.

I was ever of the opinion, that the honest man who married and brought up a large family, did more service than he who continued single, and only talked of population.

You can preach a better sermon with your life than with your lips.

Surely the best way to meet the enemy is head on in the field and not wait till they plunder our very homes.

A great source of calamity lies in regret and anticipation; therefore a person is wise who thinks of the present alone, regardless of the past or future.

People seldom improve when they have no other model but themselves to copy.

Man wants but little here below, nor wants that little long.

Law grinds the poor, and rich men rule the law.

Life is a journey that must be traveled no matter how bad the roads and accommodations.

Write how you want, the critic shall show the world you could have written better.

The best way to make your audience laugh is to start laughing yourself.

I love everything that’s old, – old friends, old times, old manners, old books, old wine.

Every absurdity has a champion to defend it.

With disadvantages enough to bring him to humility, a Scotsman is one of the proudest things alive.

The company of fools may first make us smile, but in the end we always feel melancholy.