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I begged the universe to make me a famous comedian, and it did. So I tend not to ask for any more.

Ron White

I don’t know who in my family thinks very fast at all, including me. The things that people see me do onstage are written, so it doesn’t have to be very quick if you have all day with a pen.
RON WHITE

Family Include Know Onstage People Think Written
I was by far the least popular of the Blue Collar crew when we started. There was a definite pecking order, and everybody knew it.
RON WHITE

Blue Collar Crew Everybody Knew Least Order Pack Popular
My life has been wild enough to derive all of the stories you need out of it. I’ve been through many, many years of behavioral problems, so I don’t really look outside for stories.
RON WHITE

Behaviour Derive Enough Life Many Need Out Probably Problem Story Wild Year
When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.
RON WHITE

Back Country Dad Drive Old Range Take Twelve Year
I could do no wrong in my mother’s eyes from the day I was born. My fans bought her a very nice house in San Antonio, and she has a great life.
RON WHITE

Born Day Eye Great Horse Life Mother Nice Wrong
I was so in love with the idea of making people laugh for a living that I didn’t care what I had to do to get there. Or how much money I was going to make when I did get there.
RON WHITE

Care Good Idea Laugh Live Make Money Much People
A lot of people can find something to laugh at in my humor, I guess.
RON WHITE

Find Guess Humor Laugh Lot People Something
But I work harder now because I have so much more exposure. And actually the harder you work as a writer, the better you get at it. It’s like anything else. It’s a muscle you have to exercise. I write more now than ever.
RON WHITE

Exercise Exposure Harder Like More Much Muscle Work Writer
I’ve gathered some of my close musical and comedian friends, and we’re going to see if we can’t bring a few laughs to these soldiers, raise some money, and hopefully lift their spirits.
RON WHITE

Bring Friend Gather Hopefully Laugh New Soldier Spirit
I’d rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part.
RON WHITE

Big Good Part Rather Really
I don’t do talk shows or go on Dr. Phil’s show. He’s a friend of mine, and, no, he doesn’t give me any advice. He doesn’t give solicited advice.
RON WHITE

Advice Friend Go Mine Show Solicite Talk
The next time you have a thought… let it go.
RON WHITE

Let Go Next Thought Time
A killer Cuban restaurant with a giant cigar bar. Have me a Cuban sandwich. That’s just like heaven to me. I’m a simple man.
RON WHITE

Cigar Cuban Giant Heaven Killer Restaurant Sanwick Simple
Television is 15 hour days. Movies are 18 hour days. And it’s 18 hours of doing not a thing.
RON WHITE

Day Doing Eighteen Fifteen Hour Movie Television Thing
I always wanted to be a popular comedian.
RON WHITE

Always Comedian Popular Want
I consider it an honor and a privilege to give back however I can for the many sacrifices of these incredibly brave men and women.
RON WHITE

Back Brave Consider Honor However Inctredinly Many Men Privilege Sacrifice Women

I begged the universe to make me a famous comedian, and it did. So I tend not to ask for any more.

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I begged the universe to make me a famous comedian, and it did. So I tend not to ask for any more.

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Popular Authors

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