Movies are boring. It’s like watching paint dry. I did a little role in a movie, and it was eight lines. I was there for three days. It’s just horrible.
RON WHITEI still love to walk on stage and make people laugh, and I work very, very hard at it, and I take it seriously.
More Ron White Quotes
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You know, my first album, some of those jokes I’d done for twelve years because I couldn’t throw ’em out.
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I’ve never been one to look up the ladder. I’ve always looked down the ladder. As long as there’s one guy down there, I’m fine.
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Pace, rhythm and timing. Pace, rhythm and timing is what it’s about. The content’s got to be great, but then it’s got to be delivered. It’s a tricky thing to do, and it takes a lot of work.
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I want my fans to feel like we’re always in touch. Because without ’em, I wouldn’t be able to do any of this.
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You can’t fix stupid.
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Comedy is all about the pause.
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Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty… mine’s putting in an express lane.
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My biggest pet peeve, I guess, is other comedians criticizing Larry the Cable Guy.
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I don’t think we have a surplus of fine educators in this country that we can just start dropping them for no reason whatsoever.
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I write all of my material. It’s all me.
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There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.
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All I know how to do is take what’s on my mind and spit it out funny. I don’t know what else I could do besides comedy.
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Donald Trump – and I don’t dislike Donald one single bit – has no idea how good the Mexican people are at building tunnels.
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Let’s face it: a lot of my material comes from the stuff that happens to me on the road.
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Diamonds – that’ll shut her up… for a minute!
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