“There is only one difference between a long life and a good dinner: that, in the dinner, the sweets come last.”

The price we have to pay for money is sometimes liberty.

The cruelest lies are often told in silence.

The correction of silence is what kills; when you know you have transgressed, and your friend says nothing, and avoids your eye.

Yet we make the same impression on Buddhists and vegetarians, for we feed on babies, though not our own.

I never weary of great churches. It is my favorite kind of mountain scenery.

I regard you with an indifference closely bordering on aversion.

Man is a creature who lives not upon bread alone, but primarily by catchwords.

Vanity dies hard; in some obstinate cases it outlives the man.

He who sows hurry reaps indigestion.

If your morals make you dreary, depend on it, they are wrong.

Nothing made by brute force lasts.

Wine is bottled poetry.

It is not so much for its beauty that the forest makes a claim upon men’s hearts, as for that subtle something, that quality of air that emanation from old trees, that so wonderfully changes and renews a weary spirit.

There is an idea abroad among moral people that they should make their neighbors good.

So long as we are loved by others I should say that we are almost indispensable; and no man is useless while he has a friend.

Our business in life is not to succeed, but to continue to fail in good spirits.

My life, at least, is divided between writing and performing and mixtures of the two.

A novel is balanced between a few true impressions and the multitude of false ones that make up most of what we call life.

There’s one major difference between James Bond and me. He is able to sort out problems!

The first idea the child must acquire is that of the difference between good and evil.

You know, I have several projects coming up between 2014 and 2015, and hopefully by 2015, I’ll have another hour of stand-up material where I’ll be able to go on the road and tour again.

The only true measure of success is the ratio between what we might have done and what we might have been on the one hand, and the thing we have made and the things we have made of ourselves on the other.

Green’ issues at last are attracting serious attention, owing to critically important links between the environment and the economy, health, and our security.

The differences between friends cannot but reinforce their friendship.