Let’s reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools – and use it on the teachers.
P. J. O'ROURKEA humorist doesn’t really do that much note-taking.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we’re looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn’t test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.
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Globalization is simply opening the free marketplace to encompass the entire world.
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Regulation creates a moral hazard.
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If we heard that somebody starved to death in Sweden or Switzerland, we would be shocked.
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The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to.
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Sometimes the right response to evil is an appeal to powerful and effective social organization – an appeal to civilization itself.
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People are not ants or bees. We do not reason or love or live or die collectively.
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To mistrust science and deny the validity of scientific method is to resign your job as a human. You’d better go look for work as a plant or wild animal.
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The C student starts a restaurant. The A student writes restaurant reviews.
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There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.
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Preachers at black churches are the last people left in the English-speaking world who know the schemes and tropes of classical rhetoric: parallelism, antithesis, epistrophe, synecdoche, metonymy, periphrasis, litotes – the whole bag of tricks.
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When elites see a homeless person in the gutter, they assume he’s saving a parking place.
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Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce.
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Gossip is what you say about the objects of flattery when they aren’t present.
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You can’t get rid of poverty by giving people money.
P. J. O'ROURKE