“What is called generosity is usually only the vanity of giving; we enjoy the vanity more than the thing given.”

We only confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no big ones.

Before we set our hearts too much upon anything, let us examine how happy they are, who already possess it.

Nothing is so contagious as example; and we never do any great good or evil which does not produce its like.

We only acknowledge small faults in order to make it appear that we are free from great ones.

Perfect valour consists in doing without witnesses that which we would be capable of doing before everyone.

Virtue would go far if vanity did not keep it company.

We seldom find any person of good sense, except those who share our opinions.

How can we expect another to keep our secret if we have been unable to keep it ourselves?

Though men are apt to flatter and exalt themselves with their great achievements, yet these are, in truth, very often owing not so much to design as chance.

We pardon to the extent that we love.

Those who are incapable of committing great crimes do not readily suspect them in others.

There are various sorts of curiosity; one is from interest, which makes us desire to know that which may be useful to us; and the other, from pride which comes from the wish to know what others are ignorant of.

It is not enough to have great qualities; We should also have the management of them.

A refusal of praise is a desire to be praised twice.

If it were not for the company of fools, a witty man would often be greatly at a loss.

Mediocre minds usually dismiss anything which reaches beyond their own understanding.

Jack Benny really liked my book. I know because he called me up from the library and told me.

I shouldn’t have called out Will Ferrell, but I am getting a little fed up with these people.You want to support Bernie Sanders, knock yourself out. Does he know what Bernie stands for? Does he know what Bernie wants? And I submit to you, he doesn’t.

In my heart, I never called one wrong.

The so-called science of poll-taking is not a science at all but mere necromancy. People are unpredictable by nature, and although you can take a nation’s pulse, you can’t be sure that the nation hasn’t just run up a flight of stairs.

Call me patch. I mean it. Call me.

I found out that a person named Elizabeth Frazier was living with AIDS at the time, and so I called her up, and she took a meeting with me.

This so-called fame or being better off doesn’t really attract me at all.

This so-called contemporary art is not a form, but a philosophy of society.