Some people think that welfare reform should have hurt Bill Clinton with black voters.
P. J. O'ROURKEThe real purpose of welfare is to get rid of poor people entirely. Everybody knows welfare has bad effects; that’s the point.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they’re going.
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Stupid is a great force in human affairs.
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Kuwait City is not gorgeous, actually, but it’s got a kind of Epcot Center thing going for it. It’s not pretty. But it’s striking, I’ll give it that. It’s not as over-the-top as Abu Dhabi or Dubai. But nearly.
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Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.
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A U.S. dollar is an IOU from the Federal Reserve Bank. It’s a promissory note that doesn’t actually promise anything. It’s not backed by gold or silver.
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Don’t send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed.
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People are not ants or bees. We do not reason or love or live or die collectively.
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I like making things. I have a wood shop at home. I am a terrible carpenter but I love doing it.
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Russians not only vehemently despise blacks, they believe Africa begins at the Ukraine border.
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If we heard that somebody starved to death in Sweden or Switzerland, we would be shocked.
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The problem in Afghanistan is really not so much land as water. It’s a dry country with ample amounts of water running through it, but not to good enough effect.
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Term limits aren’t enough. We need jail.
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I look around my house, and everything except the kids and dogs was made in China. And I’m not sure about the kids. They have brown eyes and small noses.
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Rich people don’t like to be in the military. The shoes are ugly and the uniforms itch. Rich people don’t go in much for revolution or terrorism, either.
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Never wear anything that panics the cat.
P. J. O'ROURKE