Southern California is a nice place, if you could cut out the show-business cancer. It just keeps spreading.
P. J. O'ROURKEEvery vote should carry a serial number, so that responsibility for harmful or careless use of the vote can be traced. Concealed voting should be outlawed.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Regulation creates a moral hazard.
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Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.
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No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the literary history of humour it’s probably all about not providing answers because the humorist essentially says: this is the way things are.
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Explosion of positive rights started in 1932 with the election of Roosevelt.
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The problem in Afghanistan is really not so much land as water. It’s a dry country with ample amounts of water running through it, but not to good enough effect.
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Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino’s box.
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The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to.
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Agriculture is a business that has been up to its bib overalls in politics since the first Thanksgiving dinner kickback to the Indians for subsidizing Pilgrim maize production with fish head fertilizer grants.
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The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work and then they get elected and prove it.
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Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
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Adam Smith’s huge failure was the fact that he did not foresee the industrial revolution.
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You’re stupid,’ is not something even his most severe critics usually say to President Barack Obama.
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Let’s reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools – and use it on the teachers.
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Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.
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We need a government, alas, because of the nature of humans.
P. J. O'ROURKE