Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step – it is an old business procedure.
FRAN LEBOWITZNever relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won’t feel like watching.
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If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
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Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
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Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
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Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
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Your life story would not make a good book. Don’t even try.
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Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.
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In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.
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The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.
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I must take issue with the term ‘a mere child’, for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.
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If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don’t teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.
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Designer clothes worn by children are like snowsuits worn by adults. Few can carry it off successfully.
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Success didn’t spoil me, I’ve always been insufferable.
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Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
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The opposite of talking isn’t listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
FRAN LEBOWITZ






