No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
FRAN LEBOWITZDesigner clothes worn by children are like snowsuits worn by adults. Few can carry it off successfully.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
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Success didn’t spoil me, I’ve always been insufferable.
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My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores.
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Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying.
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Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.
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Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
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The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.
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Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort.
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Polite conversation is rarely either.
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Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
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Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
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If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
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Designer clothes worn by children are like snowsuits worn by adults. Few can carry it off successfully.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
FRAN LEBOWITZ






