Success didn’t spoil me, I’ve always been insufferable.
FRAN LEBOWITZSuccess didn’t spoil me, I’ve always been insufferable.
FRAN LEBOWITZNothing succeeds like address.
FRAN LEBOWITZRadio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
FRAN LEBOWITZVerbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them.
FRAN LEBOWITZIf you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
FRAN LEBOWITZVery few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort.
FRAN LEBOWITZMy desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores.
FRAN LEBOWITZI never met anyone who didn’t have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?
FRAN LEBOWITZYour life story would not make a good book. Don’t even try.
FRAN LEBOWITZI must take issue with the term ‘a mere child’, for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.
FRAN LEBOWITZThere is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.
FRAN LEBOWITZI never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.
FRAN LEBOWITZBeing a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
FRAN LEBOWITZOriginal thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
FRAN LEBOWITZWhen you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.
FRAN LEBOWITZThe opposite of talking isn’t listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
FRAN LEBOWITZ