If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
ALAN KINGMy father helped me leave. He said, ‘It’s all out there, it’s not here.’
More Alan King Quotes
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When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I’m going to have for dinner or I can’t get through the day.
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I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
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There’s nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
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You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
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If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
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I had a sympathetic role in ‘thirtysomething,’ and in two weeks I’m going to do the role again.
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It’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.
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I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
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I don’t mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
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Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
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Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
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You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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My mother’s sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
ALAN KING