One thing I’ve never said in my whole life is, ‘Let’s have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.’
ALAN KINGMy father helped me leave. He said, ‘It’s all out there, it’s not here.’
More Alan King Quotes
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Banks have a new image. Now you have ‘a friend,’ your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore’s program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
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When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn’t like it. I had to get even.
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Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex.
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I made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.
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The other day my house caught fire.
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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it’s hard to turn away.
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A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let’s eat!
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My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
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That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
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Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
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One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.
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It’s more fun with someone who really likes it. I can’t imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
ALAN KING