Cancer, like any other illness, is a bore.
ALAN BENNETTThe nearest my parents came to alcohol was at Holy Communion and they utterly overestimated its effects.
More Alan Bennett Quotes
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Life is like a box of sardines and we are all looking for the key.
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I bet Tom Stoppard doesn’t have to do this’ or There is no doubt David Hare would have deputed this to an underling.’
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Why do we not care to acknowledge them? The cattle, the body count.
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Definition of a classic: a book everyone is assumed to have read and often thinks they have.
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Once I start a book I finish it. That was the way one was brought up.
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At eighty things do not occur; they recur.
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Books did not care who was reading them or whether one read them or not. All readers were equal, herself included. Literature, she thought, is a commonwealth; letters a republic.
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Polly: Education with socialists, it’s like sex, all right as long as you don’t have to pay for it.
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The masters had no idea what was expected of you in the scholarship exam, so you just had to busk it really.
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I’m not good at precise, coherent argument. But plays are suited to incoherent argument, put into the mouths of fallible people.
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Mark my words, when a society has to resort to the lavatory for its humour, the writing is on the wall.
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I lack what the English call character, by which they mean the power to refrain.
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My experience came before most of you were born.
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Were we closer to the ground as children, or is the grass emptier now?
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History is a commentary on the various and continuing incapabilities of men. What is history? History is women following behind with the bucket.
ALAN BENNETT