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Velvet Elvis never puts on weight.

Al Yankovic

I suppose I had my rock star fantasies while I was singing into my hairbrush in the bathroom mirror, but I never really consciously said, ‘OK, this is what I’m going to do for a living and I’m going to be Weird Al.’
AL YANKOVIC

Bathroom Fantastic Go Hairbrush Live Mirror OK Rock Sing Star Suppose Weird
There are probably a few library fines I haven’t paid yet, but I’m a pretty clean-cut guy overall.
AL YANKOVIC

Cut Fine Guy Library Overall Paid Pretty Probably
My wife went off with Elvis.
AL YANKOVIC

Off Went Wife
You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill, now my scars are all healing, but my heart never will.
AL YANKOVIC

Barbecue Down Face Heal Heart Scar Slam
A lot of rap songs don’t usually have a lot of melody per se.
AL YANKOVIC

Melody Rap Song Usually
Because you’re supposed to lose yourself in the character, but sometimes people look at a character and go “Oh, it’s ‘Weird Al.'”
AL YANKOVIC

Character Look People Sometimes Suppose Weird Yourself
I was a huge fan of ‘Mad’ magazine when I was 11, 12, 13 years old. I’d scour used bookstores trying to find back issues, and I’d wait at the newsstand for a new issue to come out. My life revolved around it.
AL YANKOVIC

Around Bookstore Fan Find Huge Issue Life Magazine Old Scour Revolve
I’m just a no-good, scum sucking, nose picking, boot licking, sniveling, groveling, worthless hunk of slime.
AL YANKOVIC

Boot Esteem Good Grovel Hunk Low Nose Self Slime Worthless
Got a brand new semi-automatic weapon with a laser sight. Oh, I’m praying that somebody tries to break in here tonight.
AL YANKOVIC

Automatic Brand Laser Play Revenge Semi Sight Tonight Try
As a wise man once said, “April Fools Day is for amateurs. You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people’s heads.”
AL YANKOVIC

April Day Excuse Fool Man never People Wise
I like the guitar-driven music of Nirvana at its peak. At that point, I thought there was a lot of really exciting music coming out.
AL YANKOVIC

Coming Drive Excite Guitar Lot Music Nirvana Point
I’ll be mellow when I’m dead.
AL YANKOVIC

Dead Death Mellow Suicide
Midget wrestling on channel 3, it costs me 50 bucks a month.
AL YANKOVIC

Buck Channel Midget Month Wres
I write and write and write, and then I edit it down to the parts that I think are amusing, or that help the storyline, or I’ll write a notebook full of ideas of anecdotes or story points.
AL YANKOVIC

Amuse Down Edit Help Notebook Part Storyline Think Write
And then I’ll try and arrange them in a way that they would tell a semi-cohesive story.
AL YANKOVIC

Arrange Cohesive Semi Story Try Way
It’s hard to force creativity and humor.
AL YANKOVIC

Creativity Force Hard Humor

Velvet Elvis never puts on weight.

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Velvet Elvis never puts on weight.

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