“That’s not my world. My world has a cracked sidewalk.”

I don’t discuss basketball. I dictate basketball. I’m not interested in philosophy classes.

You better have great practices.

On how to make the game more exciting.

Remember, half the doctors in this country graduated in the bottom half of their class.

I went into a restaurant one night and ordered lobster, and the waiter brought me one with a claw missing.

Life is what you allow yourself not to see.

Do what you have to do as long as you don’t hurt people.

You can always tell the Catholic schools by the length of the cheerleaders’ skirts.

Winning is only important in war and surgery.

I come from New York where, if you fall down, someone will pick you up by your wallet.

Every obnoxious fan has a wife at home that dominates him.

If the waitress has dirty ankles, the chili is good.

The next time I will cry is when I die. My life has been that beautiful.

We rush for the stars as we crawl toward our graves.

I had my moment on the stage. The trick in life is to know when to leave.

God didn’t miss any of us.