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Bill Clinton is the greatest president of the 20th century because I played touch football with him.

Al Franken

To ask whether the mainstream media has a conservative or liberal bias is like asking whether al-Qaida uses too much oil in their hummus. It’s – I think they might use too much oil in their hummus – but it’s the wrong question.
AL FRANKEN

Ask Bias Conservative Liberal Like Mainstream Much Oil Think Use
We need to be pro-science; we have to go back to science.
AL FRANKEN

Back Have Need Pro-science Science
In my first week as a U.S. senator, I had the privilege of participating in the Supreme Court confirmation hearing for Judge Sonia Sotomayor.
AL FRANKEN

Confirmation Court First Hear Judge Participate Privilege Senator Supreme Week
Net neutrality isn’t a government takeover of the Internet, as many of my Republican colleagues have alleged.
AL FRANKEN

Colleague Government Interest Many Republican
If you look at terrorists, they really have no sense of humor.
AL FRANKEN

Humor Look Really Sense Terrorist
Russia has cultivated an opaque network of patronage across the region that it uses to influence and direct decision- making.
AL FRANKEN

Across Country Cultivated Decioison Direct Influence Influencer Making Network Region User
I’m the New York Jew who actually grew up in Minnesota.
AL FRANKEN

Actual Country Grow Up Minnesota
No one is more sensitive to the issue of overeating than the creator of Stuart Smalley.
AL FRANKEN

Creator Issue More No One Overeating Sensitive
During Vietnam, I was in college, enjoying my student deferment. The government wisely felt that, in my case, military service was less important than completing my studies to prepare me for my chosen career: comedian.
AL FRANKEN

Career College Country Deferment Enjoy Military Student
Net neutrality has been in place since the very beginning of the Internet.
AL FRANKEN

Begining Internet Net Neutrality Place Since
Google’s screen for privacy settings does give you more options for what you share than Apple’s does. But it’s not a complete list, and people aren’t aware of whether or not that information will go to a third party.
AL FRANKEN

Apple Aware Complete Google Information More Option Party People Privacy Screen Setting Share
I’m crushed by the responsibility of writing a satirical book.
AL FRANKEN

Book Crush Responsibility Satirical Write
And if those two other doctors get paid by Big Snack Food, like certain climate deniers get paid by Big Coal, I shouldn’t take their advice.
AL FRANKEN

Advice Big Certain Climate Coal Denier Doctor Food Other Paid Snack
Unless it’s a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.
AL FRANKEN

Fatal Learn Least Mistake Other Unless
The point is that there is tremendous hypocrisy among the Christian right. And I think that Christian voters should start looking at global warming and extreme poverty as a religious issue that speaks to the culture of life.
AL FRANKEN

Among Christian Hypocrisy Point Religious Right Think Tremendous
There’s going to have to be investigations, and an independent investigation, into the Trump campaign and the Trump administration’s relationship to Russia.
AL FRANKEN

Administration Campaign Country Independent Investigation Relationship

Bill Clinton is the greatest president of the 20th century because I played touch football with him.

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Bill Clinton is the greatest president of the 20th century because I played touch football with him.

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