black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

So much of a stand-up’s life is doing live radio and having to be funny and quick on the spot with these strangers, and sort of surgical in terms of how funny I can be in three minutes.

Aisha Tyler

Maybe the nails are a little stubby and gnawed on, but I definitely do not have man hands.
AISHA TYLER

Definitely Gnawed Hand Man Maybe Nail Stubby
I think I was only attracted to drunken douches before I got married.
AISHA TYLER

Attract Before Douch Drunken Married Thinking
“Trust me, you don’t want to have to actually interact with these people.”
AISHA TYLER

Actual Interact Me People Trust
I have always been a softie, and I fight it with every fiber of my being. Sadly, my being’s fibers need to hit the gym.
AISHA TYLER

Being Fiber Fighting Gym Hit Need Sad Sadly Softie
Karaoke is the great equalizer.
AISHA TYLER

Equalizer Inspirational Karaoke
I don’t want to be pandered to, so I try not to pander.
AISHA TYLER

Pander Time Trying Want
When one is undone—sprawled across the cold tile of a public bathroom in a pool of one’s own vomit, or shivering in the back of a taxi in a pair of urine-soaked skinny jeans with no money for cab fare and a dead cell phone battery.
AISHA TYLER

Cell Doing Funny Girlfriend Phone Quick Radio Spot Stranger Undone
I like to be nice. I want to be a hero. I want to save people. Or just kill zombies, because they deserve it, because they’re already dead and they can’t feel it. They don’t have feelings.
AISHA TYLER

Deserve Hero Kill Nice People Save Zombie
I do not actually DO these things, but I see myself doing them, and that is almost MORE satisfying, because I am also lying down.
AISHA TYLER

Actually Almost Down Lying More Myself Satisfying
the freedom to live a life free of fear of violence, to select a fulfilling career and be compensated fairly, to choose when to start a family, to marry whom you love.
AISHA TYLER

Brand Carrer Compensate Everyone Family Free Freedom Life Live Marry Personal Start
Whereas regular people tend to run away – because the embarrassing story is always going to be the really funny story.
AISHA TYLER

Always Away Funny Going People Regular Run Story
Every ethnic group has this where people within it will try and tell each other how they should be.
AISHA TYLER

Each Embrace Ethnic Group Other People Teach Tell Trying
TV always wants more people to be watching.
AISHA TYLER

More People Television Want Watch
Nothing really worth having is easy to get. The hard-fought battles, the goals won with sacrifice, are the ones that matter.
AISHA TYLER

Battle Easy Fought Goal Hard Motivational Sacrifice Worth
I take the most wrenchingly painful moments of my life, brush them off and present them for the amusement of others. Luckily for me, my childhood was torture.
AISHA TYLER

Amusement Brush Childhood Life Luckily Moment Other Painful Torture Wrenching
I’ve always been a gamer, and I had a period where I was gaming at a really hardcore level.
AISHA TYLER

Always Game Gamer Hardcore Level Period

So much of a stand-up’s life is doing live radio and having to be funny and quick on the spot with these strangers, and sort of surgical in terms of how funny I can be in three minutes.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

So much of a stand-up’s life is doing live radio and having to be funny and quick on the spot with these strangers, and sort of surgical in terms of how funny I can be in three minutes.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Aisha Tyler Quotes