It is hard, it lasts all day, the lighting is generally fluorescent, and, apparently, drinking at your desk is frowned upon.
AISHA TYLERI’m black, and black don’t crack. It does droop.
More Aisha Tyler Quotes
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Much like a wobbly toddler or an unhinged politician, one immediately looks for someone else to blame. God. Your parents. Ex-girlfriends. Undocumented immigrants. Marvin in Human Resources. China.
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I talk to grown-ups who are out to have a good time and they want to be spoken to in a different way.
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I’ve just got to be myself and hopefully people will find me. And my audience did find me.
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Comedy is ugly. It’s honest, it’s raw.
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Karaoke is the great equalizer.
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No one wants to hear about how awesome you were; people want to hear about the time you blew it.
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I was not one of those people who wanted to be a comedian when I was growing up. I liked comedy, but didn’t know it was something you could do for a living.
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I am absolutely a Giants fan and I’m a Dynasty baby so I was a 49ers fan for a long time.
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I’m my own boss and my boss is a total ass.
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Wipe the rivulets of watery drool from your face, and do it again, like an obstinate toddler running against the wall with his head in a bucket.
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I can tell you this: Stand-up is not glamorous.
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I want to point out, that this is not my fault that everyone’s afraid of me, because I did not kill a couple people the other day.
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When I was younger, those kinds of comments bothered me, but eventually got to a point where I realized I wasn’t going to change who I was.
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Real success and accomplishment, at whatever it is you are passionate about, requires real work.
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I actually wanted to be an attorney. I did do things on the side like improv and sketch comedy, but law was my focus. I was a very bookish, academic kid. When I got out of college,
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