Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
GROUCHO MARXI’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
GROUCHO MARX -
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX -
Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
GROUCHO MARX -
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX -
Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
GROUCHO MARX -
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
GROUCHO MARX -
All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX -
In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
GROUCHO MARX -
Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX -
Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX -
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX -
If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
GROUCHO MARX -
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX