“I don’t make records for pleasure. I did when I was a younger artist, but I don’t today. I record so that I can feed people what they need, what they feel. Hopefully, I record so that I can help someone overcome a bad time.”

Music, not sex, got me aroused.

For me, love carries the seeds of its own destruction.

Detroit turned out to be heaven, but it also turned out to be hell.

I’ve never had any problems with women. Having been one of the world’s greatest womanizers they’ve probably had more problems with me.

If you escape from people too often,, you wind up escaping from yourself.

Don’t you know how sweet and wonderful life can be?

I wish that being famous helped prevent me from being constipated.

I am not a star. At least, I don’t consider myself a star.

Ain’t no mountain high enough, ain’t no valley low enough, ain’t no river wide enough, to keep me from getting to you.

War is not the answer, for only love can conquer hate.

And givin’ yourself to me can never be wrong.

An artist, if he is truly an artist, is only interested in one thing and that is to wake up the minds of men, to have mankind and womankind realize that there is something greater than what we see on the surface.

Marriage is miserable unless you find the right person that is your soulmate and that takes a lot of looking.

Music is one of the closest link-ups with God that we can probably experience. I think it’s a common vibrating tone of the musical notes that holds all life together.

I am not going to be dictated to by fans, certainly. I am dictated enough to by my record company to last me a million years.

To share is precious, pure and fair. Don’t play with something you should cherish for life. Don’t you wanna care, ain’t it lonely out there?

At this point I’ve got a bit of a track record. So people realize that when ‘Weird Al’ wants to go parody, it’s not meant to make them look bad… it’s meant to be a tribute.

I’ve always known that if I recorded an album, it would come out, and people would enjoy it!

Left all my Beatle records out in the sun, got a coke bottle stuck on the end of my tongue.

My process for the parodies is that I get an idea for a song and then get approval from the artist and then go in and record it and probably try to get it out as soon as possible.

Obviously given good health, and a continuing audience and a record company that allows me to do music.

If you use a cell phone – as I do – your wireless carrier likely has records about your physical movements going back months, if not years.

We try to give the fans a bunch of free stuff, and then have them buy the record. Without buying the record, it doesn’t support your artist.

These idiots like Radiohead and Sharon Osbourne that are like, “Free Ozzfest!”, “Pay what you can for a record!”.