I don’t like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.
ADAM CAROLLAIf the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.
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I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.
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In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff.
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I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.
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Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
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I feel like I’m a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
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That’s the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can’t pursue your dream till you’re 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
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People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.
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No one is depressed when they’re being chased by a bear.
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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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My first car was a motorcycle.
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I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
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When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. .
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If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you’ll have a good life.
ADAM CAROLLA