“And once he’s clear about that reality, he gathers the strength to begin to cope.”

We deprive them of the experience that comes from wrestling with their own problems.

The resentment that each child feels for the privileges of the other;

Deep inside you know / when trouble comes / and there’s no one else to turn to

No wonder they mobilize all their energy to have more or most. Or better still, all.

Add to that the envy that one child feels for the accomplishments of the other;

I was a wonderful parent before I had children.

From their verbal sparring they learn the difference between being clever and being hurtful.

The personal frustrations that they don’t dare let out on anyone else but a brother or sister,

I was an expert on why everyone else was having problems with theirs. Then I had three of my own.

From their endless rough-housing with each other, they develop speed and agility.

I was a wonderful parent before I had children.

Our job is to let our children know what’s right about them.

Comforters for our todays / Guardians of memories

We put him in touch with his inner reality.

From their struggles to establish dominance over each other, siblings become tougher and more resilient.

And sometimes, from their envy of each other’s special abilities they become inspired to work harder, persist and achieve.