Wanting to be understood, as adults, can be our most violent form of nostalgia.
ADAM PHILLIPSThe child [uses] ‘doubt about food to hide doubt about love.’
More Adam Phillips Quotes
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Sanity, in other words, becomes a pressing preoccupation as soon as we recognize the importance of recognition.
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To keep faith with recognition we have to stay recognizable.
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Lovers, of course, are notoriously frantic epistemologists, second only to paranoiacs (and analysts) as readers of signs and wonders.
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The whole notion of sanity may be an attempt to medicalize morality – to speak of the good in the language of health: to make us more accurate, more scientific in our wanting – but by the same token it becomes a form of moral blackmail.
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You write to find out what you believe.
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Excesses of appetite are self-cures for feelings of hopelessness. ..
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The big secret about Art is that no one wants it to be true.
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One thing you discover in psychoanalytic treatment is the limits of what you can change about yourself or your life.
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We are at our most stupid in our self-hatred.
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Monogamy is a way of getting the versions of ourselves down to the minimum.
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When we define ourselves by what we can recognize, by what we can comprehend- rather than, say, by what we can describe
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We are children for a very long time.
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The child..will try to make himself..independent of other people. .
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Tragic heroes are failed pragmatists. Their ends are unrealistic and their means are impractical.
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The child can find out what the object ..might be only by finding ..obstacles to its access
ADAM PHILLIPS