To grow up is to discover what one is unequal to.
ADAM PHILLIPSLovers, of course, are notoriously frantic epistemologists, second only to paranoiacs (and analysts) as readers of signs and wonders.
More Adam Phillips Quotes
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The child [uses] ‘doubt about food to hide doubt about love.’
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To keep faith with recognition we have to stay recognizable.
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You write to find out what you believe.
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Wanting to be understood, as adults, can be our most violent form of nostalgia.
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There is nothing more scandalous than a happy marriage
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We are at our most stupid in our self-hatred.
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The child..will try to make himself..independent of other people. .
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We have been taught to wish for it, but the wish to be understood may be our most vengeful demand, may be the way we hang on, as adults ,
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To our grudge against our mothers; the way we never let our mothers off the hook for their not meeting our every need.
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One thing you discover in psychoanalytic treatment is the limits of what you can change about yourself or your life.
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The vocabulary of one’s self-criticism is so impoverished and clichéd.
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Transgression is a quest for solitude
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Sanity, as the project of keeping ourselves recognizably human, therefore has to limit the range of human experience.
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The whole notion of sanity may be an attempt to medicalize morality – to speak of the good in the language of health: to make us more accurate, more scientific in our wanting – but by the same token it becomes a form of moral blackmail.
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People change, but there really are limits.
ADAM PHILLIPS