The past influences everything and dictates nothing.
ADAM PHILLIPSLovers, of course, are notoriously frantic epistemologists, second only to paranoiacs (and analysts) as readers of signs and wonders.
More Adam Phillips Quotes
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The whole notion of sanity may be an attempt to medicalize morality – to speak of the good in the language of health: to make us more accurate, more scientific in our wanting – but by the same token it becomes a form of moral blackmail.
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When we define ourselves by what we can recognize, by what we can comprehend- rather than, say, by what we can describe
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There is nothing more scandalous than a happy marriage
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You write to find out what you believe.
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There is always a ..belief that by destroying the thing that we love we destroy our needs
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We have been taught to wish for it, but the wish to be understood may be our most vengeful demand, may be the way we hang on, as adults ,
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We are children for a very long time.
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Transgression is a quest for solitude
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we are continually under threat from what we are unwilling and/or unable to see.
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Wanting to be understood, as adults, can be our most violent form of nostalgia.
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Tragic heroes are failed pragmatists. Their ends are unrealistic and their means are impractical.
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To our grudge against our mothers; the way we never let our mothers off the hook for their not meeting our every need.
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The child [uses] ‘doubt about food to hide doubt about love.’
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Monogamy is a way of getting the versions of ourselves down to the minimum.
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The vocabulary of one’s self-criticism is so impoverished and clichéd.
ADAM PHILLIPS