“I always give myself a little part in every movie.”

Hardly socialism. In fact, it was a Republican plan to begin with.

We’re always looking for the backbone, the central idea, and once you have that you know everything can circle around it.

It so happens that America, according to all the polls that are out there, is pretty progressive. So you’re not going to see messages that support Ayn Randian individualism at the cost of the whole, because most people don’t agree with that.

Hollywood is for-profit, is what Hollywood is. All the studios are owned by big, megacorporations that are the furthest thing from liberal you can possibly imagine.

I’ve gotten like five laughs in movies, just off guy hugs.

It’s one thing to break stuff and damage people’s possessions, but when you start aiming at the ideology of America, that’s dangerous comedy.

Sometimes you’ll put something in and it will just die so hard that it’ll almost kill the movie.

It’s just funny that Americans have to contend with 2000 channels, and 60 different specific news sources, and the confusion that it creates, and the junk that we get to see is hilarious.

If all else fails, you can always be a pro.

The easiest time to be funny is during a fairly serious situation. That way, you can break the ice.

You have to be able to fail with the improv. You have to not care.

Blanket cynicism toward government has always existed.

Can anything good come of a backward way of thinking like judging someone based on skin color? No way.

If you make action movies, the critics will savage you, and then your movies are outdated the following week with the new wave of special effects.

Celebrities and ‘famous’ people are just regular folks. I know, it’s a shocking and potentially dangerous statement.

As far as how much you listen to the audience, you listen to them when they really hate something.

Now every girl is expected to have: Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy.

Each and every one of us is capable of making such a contribution.

Religion is ‘if you obey, then you will be accepted’. But the Gospel is, ‘if you are absolutely accepted, and sure you’re accepted, only then will you ever begin to obey’. Those are two utterly different things. Every page of the Bible shows the difference.

Being a father is an everyday challenge. It goes on and on.

The lapse of ages changes all things – time, language, the earth, the bounds of the sea, the stars of the sky, and every thing about, around, and underneath man, except man himself.

There is mercy in every place. And mercy, encouraging thought gives even affliction a grace and reconciles man to his lot.

I want every day to be the most boring news day ever. I want every day to be about spelling bee champions and baby basketball. It’s better to have no comedy material than a horrific news day.

I like to perform every once in a while for people who want to see me, and cut albums of music that is what I’m really about.