We are tyrannized by our blind spots, and by whatever it is about ourselves that we find unacceptable.
ADAM PHILLIPSWhen we define ourselves by what we can recognize, by what we can comprehend- rather than, say, by what we can describe
More Adam Phillips Quotes
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The whole notion of sanity may be an attempt to medicalize morality – to speak of the good in the language of health: to make us more accurate, more scientific in our wanting – but by the same token it becomes a form of moral blackmail.
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We are children for a very long time.
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It is as if to say: if these are not valued – if these forms of wanting and feeling and speaking and doing – are not cultivated and encouraged and rewarded in the child, then the child will be mad.
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Excesses of appetite are self-cures for feelings of hopelessness. ..
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The child..will try to make himself..independent of other people. .
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The vocabulary of one’s self-criticism is so impoverished and clichéd.
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I am always true to myself, that is the problem. Who else could I be true to?
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To our grudge against our mothers; the way we never let our mothers off the hook for their not meeting our every need.
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Sanity, as the project of keeping ourselves recognizably human, therefore has to limit the range of human experience.
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To grow up is to discover what one is unequal to.
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Lovers, of course, are notoriously frantic epistemologists, second only to paranoiacs (and analysts) as readers of signs and wonders.
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The past influences everything and dictates nothing.
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Tragic heroes are failed pragmatists. Their ends are unrealistic and their means are impractical.
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There is always a ..belief that by destroying the thing that we love we destroy our needs
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Monogamy is a way of getting the versions of ourselves down to the minimum.
ADAM PHILLIPS