One thing you discover in psychoanalytic treatment is the limits of what you can change about yourself or your life.
ADAM PHILLIPSThe past influences everything and dictates nothing.
More Adam Phillips Quotes
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Sanity, in other words, becomes a pressing preoccupation as soon as we recognize the importance of recognition.
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To grow up is to discover what one is unequal to.
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To keep faith with recognition we have to stay recognizable.
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When we define ourselves by what we can recognize, by what we can comprehend- rather than, say, by what we can describe
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Believing in religion is like believing that adulthood is the solution to childhood.
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Wanting to be understood, as adults, can be our most violent form of nostalgia.
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It is as if to say: if these are not valued – if these forms of wanting and feeling and speaking and doing – are not cultivated and encouraged and rewarded in the child, then the child will be mad.
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Excesses of appetite are self-cures for feelings of hopelessness. ..
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We are children for a very long time.
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I am always true to myself, that is the problem. Who else could I be true to?
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You write to find out what you believe.
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Monogamy is a way of getting the versions of ourselves down to the minimum.
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The vocabulary of one’s self-criticism is so impoverished and clichéd.
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Lovers, of course, are notoriously frantic epistemologists, second only to paranoiacs (and analysts) as readers of signs and wonders.
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There is always a ..belief that by destroying the thing that we love we destroy our needs
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