I am not agnostic. I am atheist. I don’t think there is no God; I know there’s no God. I know there’s no God the same way I know many other laws in our universe.
ADAM CAROLLAIf in 1989 I said, ‘I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,’ they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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You shouldn’t be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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Then there’s the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I’d be, a sweatpants lesbian.
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I’m really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it’s a million miles down the road.
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I’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick.
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I’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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I don’t normally vote. I’m lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I’m not interested in hurting their feelings.
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I don’t burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.
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A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it’s not a great way to go.
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I don’t think I’ve ever seen pie advertised. That’s how you know it’s good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts.
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When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it’s about fudge packing and triple D’s at 13.
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I know everything because I know nothing.
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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
ADAM CAROLLA