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Americans want to go to heaven without dying.

James Thurber

Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest earliest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost.
JAMES THURBER

Cost Greatness Humor Serious Thinking
One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough.
JAMES THURBER

Alcohol Drink Enough Right
History is replete with proofs, from Cato the Elder to Kennedy the Younger, that if you scratch a statesman you find an actor, but it is becoming harder and harder, in our time, to tell government from show business.
JAMES THURBER

Business Evidence Government History Ourselves Time
Discussion in America means dissent.
JAMES THURBER

Country Discussion
Don’t count your boobies until they are hatched.
JAMES THURBER

Body Count Patience Yourself
If you wonder which is the stronger sex, watch which one twists the other around her little finger.
JAMES THURBER

Herself Man Sex Strong Woman Wonder
Time is for dragonflies and angels. The former live too little and the latter live too long.
JAMES THURBER

Angel Lifespan Time
It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.
JAMES THURBER

Answer Better Known Question
Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness.
JAMES THURBER

Angry Awareness Fear Future Past
Humor and pathos, tears and laughter are, in the highest expression of human character and achievement, inseparable.
JAMES THURBER

Achievement Character Expression Humor Laughter Separate
But what is all this fear of and opposition to Oblivion? What is the matter with the soft Darkness, the Dreamless Sleep?
JAMES THURBER

Darkness Dreams Fear Sleep
If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.
JAMES THURBER

Belief Dog Heaven Immortal Known Myself Person
Don’t get it right, just get it written.
JAMES THURBER

Right Writing
So much has already been written about everything that you can’t find out anything about it.
JAMES THURBER

Finding Writing Yourself
There is something about a poet which leads us to believe that he died, in many cases, as long as 20 years before his birth.
JAMES THURBER

Believe Born Leadership Poet
Things have dropped from me. I have outlived certain desires; I have lost friends, some by death… others through sheer inability to cross the street.
JAMES THURBER

Cross Desire Friendship Lost Street
There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else.
JAMES THURBER

Mathematics Safety
I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed.
JAMES THURBER

Disturb Himself Listening Reason
Looks can be deceiving; it’s eating that’s believing.
JAMES THURBER

Appearance Believe Eat One Liner
I never really rallied after the birth of my first child.
JAMES THURBER

Born Children Myself
Man has gone long enough, or even too long, without being man enough to face the simple truth that the trouble with man is man.
JAMES THURBER

Enough Hard Time Man Simplicity Trouble Truth
Nowadays men lead lives of noisy desperation.
JAMES THURBER

Desperate Live Man Noisy
The most dangerous food is wedding cake.
JAMES THURBER

Cake Dangerous Food Marriage One Liner Sarcasm
I myself have known some profoundly thoughtful dogs.
JAMES THURBER

Animal Dog Myself Thinking
The things we laugh at are awful while they are going on, but get funny when we look back. And other people laugh because they’ve been through it too. The closest thing to humor is tragedy.
JAMES THURBER

Laughter People Tragedy
She wasn’t much to look at but she was something to think about.
JAMES THURBER

Instagram Captions Philosophy Thinking
I write humor the way a surgeon operates, because it is a livelihood, because I have a great urge to do it, because many interesting challenges are set up, and because I have the hope it may do some good.
JAMES THURBER

Goodness Hope Humor Interest Operate Surgeon Writing

Americans want to go to heaven without dying.

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Americans want to go to heaven without dying.

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