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The past is an old armchair in the attic, the present an ominous ticking sound, and the future is anybody’s guess.

James Thurber

Americans want to go to heaven without dying.
JAMES THURBER

Death Deep Heaven Hypocrisy Sarcasm
I write humor the way a surgeon operates, because it is a livelihood, because I have a great urge to do it, because many interesting challenges are set up, and because I have the hope it may do some good.
JAMES THURBER

Goodness Hope Humor Interest Operate Surgeon Writing
The dog has seldom been successful in pulling man up to its level of sagacity, but man has frequently dragged the dog down to his.
JAMES THURBER

Dog Himself Level Man Success
I never really rallied after the birth of my first child.
JAMES THURBER

Born Children Myself
Man is flying too fast for a world that is round. Soon he will catch up with himself in a great rear end collision.
JAMES THURBER

Collision Fly Greatness Man World
You might as well fall flat on your face as lean over too far backward.
JAMES THURBER

Face Fall Yourself
There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else.
JAMES THURBER

Mathematics Safety
The unicorn is a mythical beast.
JAMES THURBER

Fantasy Myth Unicorn
I have lived in the East for nearly thirty years now, but many of my books prove that I am never very far away from Ohio in my thoughts, and that the clocks that strike in my dreams are often the clocks of Columbus.
JAMES THURBER

Book Dreams Evidence Live Myself Thinking
A burden in the bush is worth two on your hands.
JAMES THURBER

Burden Hands Worth
Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility.
JAMES THURBER

Chaos Emotional Humor Remember Tranquility
Mutual suspicions of mental inadequacy are common during the first year of any marriage.
JAMES THURBER

Marriage Mutual Thinking
Let the meek inherit the earth — they have it coming to them.
JAMES THURBER

Come Earth Inheritance Weakness
Sixty minutes of thinking of any kind is bound to lead to confusion and unhappiness.
JAMES THURBER

Confusion Happiness Thinking
The most dangerous food is wedding cake.
JAMES THURBER

Cake Dangerous Food Marriage One Liner Sarcasm
Things have dropped from me. I have outlived certain desires; I have lost friends, some by death… others through sheer inability to cross the street.
JAMES THURBER

Cross Desire Friendship Lost Street

The past is an old armchair in the attic, the present an ominous ticking sound, and the future is anybody’s guess.

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The past is an old armchair in the attic, the present an ominous ticking sound, and the future is anybody’s guess.

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Popular Authors

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