“As the purpose of comedy is to correct the vices of men, I see no reason why anyone should be exempt.”

One can be well-bred and write bad poetry.

Heaven forbids, it is true, certain gratifications, but there are ways and means of compounding such matters.

In order to prove a friend to one’s guests, frugality must reign in one’s meals; and, according to an ancient saying, one must eat to live, not live to eat.

It is madness beyond compare To try to reform the world.

The defects of human nature afford us opportunities of exercising our philosophy, the best employment of our virtues. If all men were righteous, all hearts true and frank and loyal, what use would our virtues be?

The maturing process of becoming a writer is akin to that of a harlot. First you do it for love, then for a few friends, and finally only for money.

It is a strange enterprise to make respectable people laugh.

The more we love our friends, the less we flatter them; it is by excusing nothing that pure love shows itself.

Gold makes the ugly beautiful.

People are all alike in their promises. It is only in their deeds that they differ.

The genuine Amphitryon is the Amphitryon with whom we dine.

Writing is like prostitution. First you do it for love, and then for a few close friends, and then for money.

Even Rome cannot grant us a dispensation from death.

A wise man is superior to any insults which can be put upon him, and the best reply to unseemly behavior is patience and moderation.

New-born desires, after all, have inexplicable charms, and all the pleasure of love is in variety.

All the failures of the great leaders have arisen merely from a lack of skill in dancing.

You confuse two things: solving a problem and stating a problem correctly. It is only the second that is obligatory for an artist.

You cannot behave appropriately, unless you perceive correctly. Once you perceive you are a beam of Light, that comes from the mind of God, you will carry yourself differently.

I should never go with rumors because they’re often not correct.

Laughter is the corrective force which prevents us from becoming cranks.

Political correctness has become a straightjacket.

Every dictatorship has ultimately strangled in the web of repression it wove for its people, making mistakes that could not be corrected because criticism was prohibited.

Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to?

If you really look at my lyrics, nobody’s exempt. Nobody’s exempt from observation, criticism or what I think is correction.