black
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I know I could be an astronomer of this swooning.

Schuyler

I want to wade into the water on the sidewalk, crawl out of this feeling without giving it a name. Take a lighter to love’s sticky edges so its sadness isn’t caught in my throat.
SCHUYLER

Catch Myself Name Sadness Water
I’m thinking about how early the spring flower buds rise up from the grass; just barely on winter’s heels. How uncomfortable, how cold the soil must be, still half-frosted, when the roots start to take shape.
SCHUYLER

Comfortable Flower Myself Shape Start Thinking
I’m remembering again, how loneliness has always made me brave.
SCHUYLER

Brave Lonely Myself Remember
For now, I’ll bring what I can to my own four walls. I recognize the purpose, the promise of this: a church is made by its space, by its practices.
SCHUYLER

Practice Promise Purpose Recognition Space
This does not have to be a hard life to love. There is not enough time to let it stray too far from my hands.
SCHUYLER

Enough Hands Hard Life Love Myself Time
Please come here, but not too close.
SCHUYLER

Close Near One Liner
I descend into an unopened sky, the ocean floor, the final embrace of a graveyard. Find your fill of me before my blue pales like a sour moon.
SCHUYLER

Floor Grave Moon Ocean Open Sky Yourself
Take me back to the evergreen trees; to the sunlight through the leaves, the bending ferns and fronds. The pitter of the rain, the smooth rocks sleeping under moss. Take me back to the life I know before this body.
SCHUYLER

Body Known Leaves Life Myself Sunlight Tree
Yes, this life is mine, but more often I watch it take place and my hands feel too far away to touch it.
SCHUYLER

Hands Life Myself Place Touch
Hold me here, where I feel less like a stranger to my own laughter. Where it’s easier to believe things happen for a reason or maybe, at least, out of a thousand winding roads my life might take, I will still find one that fits me.
SCHUYLER

Feeling Hold Life Oneself Reason Road Stranger
Some mornings, I like to live like a secret; wake as quietly as I can, slip out of bed without so much as a wrinkle.
SCHUYLER

Live Morning Myself Quiet Secret Wake Up
I’m writing about moving again, and when I write about moving, I really mean beginning. I’m beginning again.
SCHUYLER

Beginning Deep Move Myself Writing
How radiant you are, waiting by the window, watching for the sun to grant you more time to dance beneath it. You’ve let yourself dream again. Even if its in bites, even if it’s in a different voice than it used to be.
SCHUYLER

Different Dreams Radiant Voice Window Yourself
I never lose pieces of me, I just gain new understanding.
SCHUYLER

Lose Myself Perspective Pieces Understand
The world will be loud again. I’ll notice the loneliness less.
SCHUYLER

Loneliness Loud Myself Notice World
I know I could be an astronomer of this swooning.
SCHUYLER

Known Myself
I still know the fabric of where I begin and end.
SCHUYLER

Beginning End Fabric Myself
I’ll craft a haven that that cradles every joy and sorrow, but doesn’t hold them to keep.
SCHUYLER

Craft Happiness Hold Myself Sorrow
In a dream, my fingertips pulse. I’ll be patient in my blooming. In a dream, I let time pass through open hands.
SCHUYLER

Bloom Dreams Hands Healing Myself Open Patience Self Love Time
There will be a time where this hurts less and it will not mean it didn’t matter. It means that in the face of feeling something precious slip in my hands, I will always find a way back to myself.
SCHUYLER

Face Feeling Finding Hurt Myself Precious Time Way
People have been washed away by less. I’ll take every step gently. So often, you can’t tell the rush of a riptide until you’re already at sea.
SCHUYLER

Myself People Sea Wash
I sit on the bare floor, leave my palms unturned, and watch relief pool into one hand, and uncertainty in the next. I will try not to lean more one way or another, but let them hold each other as company.
SCHUYLER

Company Floor Hands Leaving Myself Uncertain
I’d get lost in this green, ferns leaning against the trees, soil stuck to my feet, never dream of finding my way back again.
SCHUYLER

Dreams Lost Myself Tree Way
Meet me where happiness doesn’t feel like a false spring.
SCHUYLER

Fake Feeling Happiness Myself Spring
We’ve never seen what a happy life could look like if we chose to spend it by ourselves – sharing our beautiful lives with friends, family members, the occasional crush, and lounging out in that quiet space alone as if an idyllic sunned beach.
SCHUYLER

Choice Family Friendship Happiness Life Ourselves Quiet Space
I don’t want to be a saint, I want a love I don’t fight alone to keep.
SCHUYLER

Alone Fight Love Myself Saint
We’re in spring and I have learned how to be gentle and sharp; strong bark on budding trees. Hold out your hands. I’ll leave a pink kiss and a pocket knife.
SCHUYLER

Hands Learning Leaving Myself Sharp Spring

I know I could be an astronomer of this swooning.

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I know I could be an astronomer of this swooning.

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