It didn’t mean forever but for right now I wanted Rush to be my first. He wouldn’t be my last. A stop I might never forget or get over. That was what scared me the most. Not being able to move on.
I wanted to live. For the father and brother who I never knew and for my mother who was cheated of a life of happiness. I wanted to live for them. And I wanted to live for me.
Maybe not this year or the next but one day they’d end up married. In this lifetime and every one after it. Just knowing that I’d get to watch them find each other and fall in love in every life made me smile.
I will do anything. Anything, Blaire, just to be near you. I can’t think about anything else. I can’t focus on anything. So never think you’re inconveniencing me. You need me, I’m there.
You’re it for me, baby. Just you. You’re not going to be your mother. You’re special and unique and we’re going to get you help. But I will be right by your side the entire time. I’ll never leave you. I swear it.
