How can he be perfect? Everything he ever makes, dies.
GEORGE CARLINThe God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument.
More George Carlin Quotes
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When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.
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Sometimes a little brain damage can help.
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The main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
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Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.
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I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
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If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
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Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name.
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With the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
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Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
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The God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument.
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Religion is just mind control.
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Always do whatever’s next.
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I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
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If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
GEORGE CARLIN