Everyone smiles in the same language.
GEORGE CARLINWell, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
More George Carlin Quotes
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People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can’t do math.
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People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
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When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
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Religion is just mind control.
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
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Religion is like a pair of shoes. Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.
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We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.
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One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
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If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
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I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
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I’m happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.
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Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.
GEORGE CARLIN