I didn’t get old on purpose, it just happened. If you’re lucky, it could happen to you.
ANDY ROONEYNever trust the food in a restaurant on top of the tallest building in town that spends a lot of time folding napkins.
More Andy Rooney Quotes
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I’ve learned, That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you’re hooked for life.
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I’ve learned, That you should never say no to a gift from a child.
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I don’t like food that’s too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I’d buy a painting.
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A cat’s idea of a ‘good time’ is to kill something.
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I’ve learned… That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
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I’ve learned that no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
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Nothing in fine print is ever good news.
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I had one typewriter for 50 years, but I have bought seven computers in six years. I suppose that’s why Bill Gates is rich, and Underwood is out of business.
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A great many people do not have the right to their own opinion because they don’t know what they are talking about.
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I’ve learned, That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
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Small daily happenings make life spectacular. Start enjoying the small things in life!
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Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes – that’s what I’m here for.
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When it comes to educating all of us about the most basic things in life, it seems to me we need more kindergartens and fewer graduate schools.
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If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.
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If I’d known how many problems I was going to run into before I finished, I can’t remember a single project I would have started.
ANDY ROONEY